Rule #1 for Mo Betta' Writing

One of the first rules for good writing is that the writer must remember to never split an infinitive. Right here that rule has been broken. Often the word to marks a verb as an infinitive: “to walk,” “to think,” “to fly,” “to exist.”

Examples of infinitives are much easier to illustrate than to define that part of grammar. Never is an adverb and its placement in the opening sentence "splits" the infinitive, to split.

The same goes for a split, or cleft, infinitive. Probably the most recognizable split infinitive is this: To boldly go where no man has gone before! To go is the infinitive that is split by the adverb boldly.

In Latin, infinitives are only one word and cannot, therefore, be split. Modeling of English style writing on Latin has in the past often been considered the epitome of good writing. An example of the misguided application of this notion is the injunction against splitting the English infinitive.

Many modern speakers and writers depend on their ear for a natural sentence rather than arbitrary rule. In order to avoid awkward or stilted language there are occasions when a split infinitive is preferable.

Now, if anyone even bothers to read this, just who the hell cares? Blogs are for fun. Split away!

Conservatism vs Liberalism

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn't buy one.

If a liberal doesn't like guns, he feels that no one should have one.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.

If a liberal is, he wants to ban all meat products for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.

A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.

If a liberal is homosexual, he loudly demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.

Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection and support.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.

A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.

Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.

A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God or religion silenced.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.

A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

Fashion Maven Alert

O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us

To see oursels as ithrs see us!

It wad frae mony a blunder free us.

~ Robert Burns

Bet you'll never guess which store this shopper was found. Saks Fifth Avenue in New York? Neiman's in Dallas? Or maybe Henri Bendel, New York's legendary Fifth Avenue boutique, a girls' playground for trendsetting young women from around the world.

Nope. All wrong. If you guessed, however, that she must might be in a Wally World somewhere in the USA you would be absolutely correct! She may not be a trend setter, but she surely is a follower.

So far as I know there is no law ... in this country at least ... that says a burqa is limited to women of the Muslim faith. This beautiful blue model would be perfect for the Wal-Mart trend follower. It's loose and probably allows the cool air to circulate whereas tight clothes are constrictive.

Gomer Pyle said it well after learning that if you can't say something nice about someone, then say nothing at all. His famous line was: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.

How fortunate we are to be able to enjoy our freedoms ... even if one of them is to exhibit a total lack of pride in our public appearance.

Tanker's Good Advice

Back on September 5th Tanker posted New blog!. I've been reading his Mostly Cajun blog for quite some time. Not every day but often. His post, New Blog!, has some good advice for those of us ... especially me ... who get our Model T stuck in the mud and there's no AAA to pull you out and provide a tow to the gas station.

His words from referenced post just may be the gas I need to get started again.

Try writing something every day, or at least posting SOMETHING. It’s disappointing to keep visiting a blog and seeing the same old post at the top for weeks on end. I know life intrudes, folks, but please, we’re your friends. Tell us! “I’m going to be on a two-week assignment to south Timbuktoo and won’t be blogging until I get back” is a nice thing to do.

The whole post serves as an incentive or kick in the butt. I thank him for that.

His "tricks" help to fill in the blanks and they are mostly pretty neat. I never thought of them as tricks but I did recognize them as being fillers. They beat the sox off our local excuse a/k/a newsless paper which uses their own ads when all else is lacking.

Prayer Request

"Anyone with needs to be prayed over come forward to the front at the altar." the preacher says.

Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you."

Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays. He prays a blue streak for Leroy.

After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it ain't ‘til next Wednesday!"

Not Really Funny

A Harley rider is passing the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter says, "Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life." The biker replies, "Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and I acted."

The reporter says, "Well, I'm a journalist from the New York Times, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page.... So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?" The biker replies, "I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican."

The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads on front page:

"U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH"

Another Obama Appointee of Questionable Character

John Holdren — the guy who wanted to put a sterilizing agent in our water supply and is now in charge of federal science policy — is hardly the only dangerous radical to attain "Czar" status in the Obama regime. NewsBusters reports: The administration's "Green Jobs" czar, Van Jones, has a "very checkered past" deep-rooted in radical politics, including black nationalism, anarchism, and communism.

Jones is a San Francisco extremist who admits to having been "radicalized in jail." Phil Kerpen of Americans for Prosperity draws the clear parallel between Jones' communist and environmentalist advocacy: the idea that government ought to be reordering society in accordance with some utopian vision that failed with communism and socialism, and will fail with this green jobs idea.

Jones views environmental activism as a means to advance the ultra-left's Orwellian notion of "justice." He has referred to himself not only as a "communist," but as a "rowdy black nationalist."

The above is taken verbatim from here.

I first saw mention of this on The Bear's post dated today. The title -- Obama's latest "In Your Face": "Green Czar" admits he's a Communist with arrest record.

Washington's Buffoon Ex-Mayor Barry

A little more than twenty years ago former Washington, D.C., Mayor Marion Barry claimed that, Aside from the increase in homicides, the District of Columbia actually had a low crime rate. This statement has been authenticated. He declared this during a March 23rd, 1989, speech to the National Press Club.

He is current D.C. Council member representing predominately black Ward 8. So there are those who still revere him.

After all the time that's passed he back in the national (dim) spotlight again. Another arrest. Maybe he just likes the part of playing buffoon. At least he's successful at that.

Southern HOTpitality

Dear Diary:

May 30th: My husband and I just moved to Hattiesburg, Mississippi from up North. Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 10th: It’s really heating up. Got to 100 today! Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

June 14th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for us! Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

June 30th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer than I expected.

July 10th: Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 15th: I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died and was swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

July 20th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant blow dryer! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the a/c repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts!

July 21st: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $1,500 in house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

July 22nd: It's 105 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85, but this humidity makes the house feel like it's about 95. Dumb repairman peed in my pool. I hate this stupid city!

July 23rd: If another wiseass cracks "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

July 24th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts and sat on the black leather seats in the car. I lost two layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

July 25th: The weather report might as well be a recording: Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for two months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. How can it WARM UP when it’s already 1000 freakin’ degrees? Doesn't it ever rain in this desert?? Water rationing will be next, so I might as well watch $1700 worth of cactus just dry up and blow into the pool! Even the cactus can't live in this heat!

July 26th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 105 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"

My husband had to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail.

Dang South! WHAT KIND OF A SICK DEMENTED PERSON WOULD WANT TO LIVE HERE!?!??!!

How did Jefferson know?

It has been said the greatest volume of sheer brainpower in one place
occurred when Jefferson dined alone.

When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe.

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.

It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.

I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.

My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.

No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.

To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

Thomas Jefferson said, in 1802: I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered.